Daughters in the Father’s Cage
@
Unbelievable, am now aged 41 years and my immediate sister just clocked 40 years two weeks ago without much celebrations. We are daughters from the same father who through his over protective act robbed us of reliable husband. How on earth at such an age should we be without a man to get married to? Both my sister and I appeared to be a fool.
Yes, this is pathetic! I have lamented and regretted the kind of father destiny bestowed on me as a daughter. Really, when an extended family is at peace, the bastard within is probably too young to make an impact.
Whenever I flashed back and remember all that my father did to us while we were growing up, I feel like denouncing him. He was too cold for our comfort in all ways in those rough odd days.
Actually, we grew up knowing only him simply because my mother died almost immediately my younger brother was born into this terrible world of woes. My father was the only single parent that too good care of us then during those lean days. The rapport between my father and mother were like between David and Jonathan before the demise.
Before the birth of my younger brother named ‘’Temilehin’’ My affectionate mother, Madam Adebimpe Comfort had three girls. Being the first born of the family, I knew her more than the others and missed her a lot when she died and was no longer there for me again. The stings of death is both strong, painful and terrible!
When young and tender, we all attended the same primary school in one of the best famous private educational institution in town. My immediate younger sister and I were even in the same class because we both started at the same time. I cannot up till today explained the cogent reason behind it. Although, am only about 10 months older than she is, because my mother mistakenly took in after she had me. My other younger sister is four years younger than I, so at that time, she did not really understand what we were passing through.
Meanwhile, when we finished our primary education and it was time of admission into secondary school. We begged our father seriously to allow us go to a boarding school like our colleagues, but he refused bluntly, saying he wanted us to grow right under his nose, watch and care. Unlike other girls, our freedom to live as we wanted was tamed and caged!
At that time, to be in the boarding house was a big privilege and ample chance to mix up with other girls and make friends. But my father denied us of staying in the school hostel not because he could not afford the fees involved but simply because he wanted to monitor our movements strictly.
In physique, Ololade my immediate junior sister had a tall gazillion figure like my late mother while I am plump and charming. But despite our good looks, we missed our Mr Rights. This emanated from the strictness of my father who never wanted any opposite sex to mingle with us during our teen years.
If I could recollect, my father started having woman-friends to keep with few years after the demise of my mother. But in fairness to him, he never got married to any of those women who ran after him desperately to occupy my late mother’s position in the family. There was no step mother for us. His cogent reason was well understood. He wanted to be able to concentrate on taking good care of us. He explained vividly to his relations who mounted pressures and those pestering him to get married again in other to fill in the vacuum my beloved mother had left that we his daughters are old enough to cook for him, wash his clothes and take care of the house.
A person like my father was rare and uncommon in the community. He was too protective of us. It was too much of him. He never wanted us to talk about going to spend the holiday in any relation’s house. We were never allowed to travel outside the town alone unless my father would accomplished us in the journey. He wanted to see us every time.
The secondary school we attended was not too far from our house, so whenever we failed to get back home on time, he would definitely traced us to the school to be double sure that we were not keeping bad friends. We were his pets for good care all the time. This was so glaring to all and sundry then.
My father then was self-employed. He was engaged in Printing and Book publishing business. His printing office was in our house, so he was always at home, except he had a few things to do outside. And that made matters worse for us, because we were not even permitted to bring our female friends home for any reason.
To be candid, we used to enjoy his company a lot. He too good care of us. We were made to enjoy some luxury from his wealth as a successful publisher of some reigning books on literature that he authored and published for both primary and secondary schools.
But when we grew older, it became extremely boring siting around him from morning till night, particularly when we were on holidays. We went to Church together and came back together. The worst of it all, whenever anybody, boy or girl, stopped to greet us on the way, he would shout at us and tell us to hurry up.
It was getting too much. At a point, we were praying that he should get hooked to a woman so that we would have a breathing space to live our lives as desired by destiny. After all, those without father still live their lives without any compromise. We knew and have believe that if he had a wife to keep, he would be less fond of us. So, we went to his family members to help us beg him to take another wife. Unfortunately, the secret was leaked that we were the ones that proposed the idea, he beat us for the first time in history, in the presence of some of his relatives. It was serious!
‘’We were in hot soup!’’
When a person is inside the prison freedom could not be a right again but rare privilege. At the point of being canned seriously in the open for seeking our liberation, we knew there was nothing we could do again forcefully but to wish and pray for divine intervention that will make him have a change of mind.
Like Joseph thrown inside deep pity without any green light of recue by his wicked brothers. The dark side of my father was fully blown for us to see. But, is there any likely wood that a beheaded hen can still swallow maize for dinner?
As time went by we finished the secondary education and came out in flying colours in WASCE and secured admission to the university in good time.
Ololade and myself, both gained admission in to the university at the same time. We were extremely glad that we would at least enjoy some respite. The bondage of undue restrictions would be cut off!
Far from it, little did we realised that it was just the beginning of our troubles afresh? It was a tug of war indeed!
With his influence and connections as famous publisher who have handled several publications for some notable professors in the academics, he ensured we chose and got admission to University of Ibadan.
The premier university was not too far from our house at Agbowo area of Orita UI. In addition, one of his uncles was a lecturer in the university, so he was sure that we would be offered admission there if we passed the Joint Matriculation Examination. But unfortunately, after our registration and matriculation, instead of him to allow us move into the hostel, he insisted we would operate as day students. That was the height of it. Both of us seemed tied to the apron strings of my father.
Painful and dishearten. It was not because he needed someone to cook for him or do the washing. Our younger sister was of age and was in her third year in the secondary school. Tolu was already performing most of the house chores even before we gained admission. But my father’s fear was that we would be corrupted by other undergraduates if allowed us to live on campus with them. He continued to give the same excuse for keep us under his closed watch. Several of my father’s relatives warned him of the negative effect of his attitude to us as girls that needed some privacy and breading space. The relatives were not won over by my father’s arguments.
I did not think he was making any sense at all. Rather, I felt he needed mental check-up on a more serious note. But will my father face the reality? His behaviours and approach to life issues was becoming more absurd than normal.
Well, we were going to school from and my colleagues in the campus were always making mockery of our father’s protective tendencies. Even as undergraduates, he had our lecture timetables and would come to lecture room to check if we attended lecture. He knew when we should leave the campus, so he would come and hang around so he could walk us home. We had to boldness to object him. The wish of my father was our command!
Really, it became very embarrassing but there was nothing we could do. Both my sister and I felt painful at heart for the kind of over concerned father who became a cross and thorn in our lives.
Actually, he was lonely without our mother, since he had refused to get married. He monitored us that way and refused outright to get married to another woman despite the pressure mounted from various angles.
Another funny experience was the indicated pasted on the front and back wall fence of our house that reads:
WARNING: Bachelors & Randy Men, Keep Off!
The house we lived was completely no go area for boys and men of any calibre or status. Such a mistake visitation would meet the red-eyes of my father with frank smile that ignite troubles.
Just like the devil incarnate, my father stood on the fake throne of frustration to caged us without any reserve or room for freedom as desired by us as females. He monitored and followed us bomber to bomber every day without any breathing space. It was too much of him. Indeed, he refused to allow us have a minute to ourselves until we finished school.
Meanwhile, he did that at the expense of my younger sister and brother’s upbringing. He concentrated so much on us that he forgot that Tolu was growing up. My junior sister, the third born named Tolulope escaped the stings of my strict father.
At the time she filled her JAMB form, he was unaware, so she chose Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife. Indeed, Tolu was very wise and smart. She was also brilliant and intelligent. She needed nobody to help or influence her admission.
When we finished our studies at the University of Ibadan as scheduled. We were to go for the National Service [NYSC]. My father cried everywhere and declared to everyone who cared to listen that we meant the world to him. He even said he would die if we were posted outside Ibadan. People pitied him and helped him secured our redeployment to Ibadan.
Immediately after the national service, I secured a good job in one of the foremost bank, while my sister worked in an insurance company.
To cut a long story short, by the time we having affairs, we were so naïve that men cheated on us and left without any remorse. My younger sister, who went to OAU is happily married with two grown up kids. I am 41 while my immediate younger sister is 40.
Consequently, after a long wait for our lovers to be hooked with became mere dream or an assumption. Events had taken new turn. No going back. The game is getting closed to the end!
Now, we are getting old and of age. Both I and Ololade felt that it would be beneficial to us to have children before it will be too late. Or shall we remain spinsters for life like Mama Dee?
Now, my father is going round pastors to help him pray for us. But he was the cause the origin and cause of our problems. The harm is done already, flinging away the knife will be useless!
Now, he cannot marry us. We are now frustrated singles seeking for the true lover boy! We are now only believing God to give us husbands. I am pained that the kind of father after my heart is not yet born!
‘’ Is it a crime to have a father instead of getting married to loving and beloved Husband?’’
That was the big question that bordered my mind as I drove to work as a senior lady in town.
‘’ What a big trap I found myself?’’
No serious suitor had come our way! #entertainment #CelebrityNews #opinion #ForYourViewingPleasure #humaninterest #socialissues #Education
@
Unbelievable, am now aged 41 years and my immediate sister just clocked 40 years two weeks ago without much celebrations. We are daughters from the same father who through his over protective act robbed us of reliable husband. How on earth at such an age should we be without a man to get married to? Both my sister and I appeared to be a fool.
Yes, this is pathetic! I have lamented and regretted the kind of father destiny bestowed on me as a daughter. Really, when an extended family is at peace, the bastard within is probably too young to make an impact.
Whenever I flashed back and remember all that my father did to us while we were growing up, I feel like denouncing him. He was too cold for our comfort in all ways in those rough odd days.
Actually, we grew up knowing only him simply because my mother died almost immediately my younger brother was born into this terrible world of woes. My father was the only single parent that too good care of us then during those lean days. The rapport between my father and mother were like between David and Jonathan before the demise.
Before the birth of my younger brother named ‘’Temilehin’’ My affectionate mother, Madam Adebimpe Comfort had three girls. Being the first born of the family, I knew her more than the others and missed her a lot when she died and was no longer there for me again. The stings of death is both strong, painful and terrible!
When young and tender, we all attended the same primary school in one of the best famous private educational institution in town. My immediate younger sister and I were even in the same class because we both started at the same time. I cannot up till today explained the cogent reason behind it. Although, am only about 10 months older than she is, because my mother mistakenly took in after she had me. My other younger sister is four years younger than I, so at that time, she did not really understand what we were passing through.
Meanwhile, when we finished our primary education and it was time of admission into secondary school. We begged our father seriously to allow us go to a boarding school like our colleagues, but he refused bluntly, saying he wanted us to grow right under his nose, watch and care. Unlike other girls, our freedom to live as we wanted was tamed and caged!
At that time, to be in the boarding house was a big privilege and ample chance to mix up with other girls and make friends. But my father denied us of staying in the school hostel not because he could not afford the fees involved but simply because he wanted to monitor our movements strictly.
In physique, Ololade my immediate junior sister had a tall gazillion figure like my late mother while I am plump and charming. But despite our good looks, we missed our Mr Rights. This emanated from the strictness of my father who never wanted any opposite sex to mingle with us during our teen years.
If I could recollect, my father started having woman-friends to keep with few years after the demise of my mother. But in fairness to him, he never got married to any of those women who ran after him desperately to occupy my late mother’s position in the family. There was no step mother for us. His cogent reason was well understood. He wanted to be able to concentrate on taking good care of us. He explained vividly to his relations who mounted pressures and those pestering him to get married again in other to fill in the vacuum my beloved mother had left that we his daughters are old enough to cook for him, wash his clothes and take care of the house.
A person like my father was rare and uncommon in the community. He was too protective of us. It was too much of him. He never wanted us to talk about going to spend the holiday in any relation’s house. We were never allowed to travel outside the town alone unless my father would accomplished us in the journey. He wanted to see us every time.
The secondary school we attended was not too far from our house, so whenever we failed to get back home on time, he would definitely traced us to the school to be double sure that we were not keeping bad friends. We were his pets for good care all the time. This was so glaring to all and sundry then.
My father then was self-employed. He was engaged in Printing and Book publishing business. His printing office was in our house, so he was always at home, except he had a few things to do outside. And that made matters worse for us, because we were not even permitted to bring our female friends home for any reason.
To be candid, we used to enjoy his company a lot. He too good care of us. We were made to enjoy some luxury from his wealth as a successful publisher of some reigning books on literature that he authored and published for both primary and secondary schools.
But when we grew older, it became extremely boring siting around him from morning till night, particularly when we were on holidays. We went to Church together and came back together. The worst of it all, whenever anybody, boy or girl, stopped to greet us on the way, he would shout at us and tell us to hurry up.
It was getting too much. At a point, we were praying that he should get hooked to a woman so that we would have a breathing space to live our lives as desired by destiny. After all, those without father still live their lives without any compromise. We knew and have believe that if he had a wife to keep, he would be less fond of us. So, we went to his family members to help us beg him to take another wife. Unfortunately, the secret was leaked that we were the ones that proposed the idea, he beat us for the first time in history, in the presence of some of his relatives. It was serious!
‘’We were in hot soup!’’
When a person is inside the prison freedom could not be a right again but rare privilege. At the point of being canned seriously in the open for seeking our liberation, we knew there was nothing we could do again forcefully but to wish and pray for divine intervention that will make him have a change of mind.
Like Joseph thrown inside deep pity without any green light of recue by his wicked brothers. The dark side of my father was fully blown for us to see. But, is there any likely wood that a beheaded hen can still swallow maize for dinner?
As time went by we finished the secondary education and came out in flying colours in WASCE and secured admission to the university in good time.
Ololade and myself, both gained admission in to the university at the same time. We were extremely glad that we would at least enjoy some respite. The bondage of undue restrictions would be cut off!
Far from it, little did we realised that it was just the beginning of our troubles afresh? It was a tug of war indeed!
With his influence and connections as famous publisher who have handled several publications for some notable professors in the academics, he ensured we chose and got admission to University of Ibadan.
The premier university was not too far from our house at Agbowo area of Orita UI. In addition, one of his uncles was a lecturer in the university, so he was sure that we would be offered admission there if we passed the Joint Matriculation Examination. But unfortunately, after our registration and matriculation, instead of him to allow us move into the hostel, he insisted we would operate as day students. That was the height of it. Both of us seemed tied to the apron strings of my father.
Painful and dishearten. It was not because he needed someone to cook for him or do the washing. Our younger sister was of age and was in her third year in the secondary school. Tolu was already performing most of the house chores even before we gained admission. But my father’s fear was that we would be corrupted by other undergraduates if allowed us to live on campus with them. He continued to give the same excuse for keep us under his closed watch. Several of my father’s relatives warned him of the negative effect of his attitude to us as girls that needed some privacy and breading space. The relatives were not won over by my father’s arguments.
I did not think he was making any sense at all. Rather, I felt he needed mental check-up on a more serious note. But will my father face the reality? His behaviours and approach to life issues was becoming more absurd than normal.
Well, we were going to school from and my colleagues in the campus were always making mockery of our father’s protective tendencies. Even as undergraduates, he had our lecture timetables and would come to lecture room to check if we attended lecture. He knew when we should leave the campus, so he would come and hang around so he could walk us home. We had to boldness to object him. The wish of my father was our command!
Really, it became very embarrassing but there was nothing we could do. Both my sister and I felt painful at heart for the kind of over concerned father who became a cross and thorn in our lives.
Actually, he was lonely without our mother, since he had refused to get married. He monitored us that way and refused outright to get married to another woman despite the pressure mounted from various angles.
Another funny experience was the indicated pasted on the front and back wall fence of our house that reads:
WARNING: Bachelors & Randy Men, Keep Off!
The house we lived was completely no go area for boys and men of any calibre or status. Such a mistake visitation would meet the red-eyes of my father with frank smile that ignite troubles.
Just like the devil incarnate, my father stood on the fake throne of frustration to caged us without any reserve or room for freedom as desired by us as females. He monitored and followed us bomber to bomber every day without any breathing space. It was too much of him. Indeed, he refused to allow us have a minute to ourselves until we finished school.
Meanwhile, he did that at the expense of my younger sister and brother’s upbringing. He concentrated so much on us that he forgot that Tolu was growing up. My junior sister, the third born named Tolulope escaped the stings of my strict father.
At the time she filled her JAMB form, he was unaware, so she chose Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife. Indeed, Tolu was very wise and smart. She was also brilliant and intelligent. She needed nobody to help or influence her admission.
When we finished our studies at the University of Ibadan as scheduled. We were to go for the National Service [NYSC]. My father cried everywhere and declared to everyone who cared to listen that we meant the world to him. He even said he would die if we were posted outside Ibadan. People pitied him and helped him secured our redeployment to Ibadan.
Immediately after the national service, I secured a good job in one of the foremost bank, while my sister worked in an insurance company.
To cut a long story short, by the time we having affairs, we were so naïve that men cheated on us and left without any remorse. My younger sister, who went to OAU is happily married with two grown up kids. I am 41 while my immediate younger sister is 40.
Consequently, after a long wait for our lovers to be hooked with became mere dream or an assumption. Events had taken new turn. No going back. The game is getting closed to the end!
Now, we are getting old and of age. Both I and Ololade felt that it would be beneficial to us to have children before it will be too late. Or shall we remain spinsters for life like Mama Dee?
Now, my father is going round pastors to help him pray for us. But he was the cause the origin and cause of our problems. The harm is done already, flinging away the knife will be useless!
Now, he cannot marry us. We are now frustrated singles seeking for the true lover boy! We are now only believing God to give us husbands. I am pained that the kind of father after my heart is not yet born!
‘’ Is it a crime to have a father instead of getting married to loving and beloved Husband?’’
That was the big question that bordered my mind as I drove to work as a senior lady in town.
‘’ What a big trap I found myself?’’
No serious suitor had come our way! #entertainment #CelebrityNews #opinion #ForYourViewingPleasure #humaninterest #socialissues #Education
